Rant.

Alright, heard something that really pissed me off this morning, and as it was actually trans related, I've decided to vent.

While listening to the Go Fish Radio Network this morning on my way to work (YOU SUCK) I heart a story that just really, really got me lit. And the story is:

Bob (or whatever the dude's real name is) is divorced from Julia, an FTM who is now Julio. Julio is still collecting alimony, which s/he is using to help pay for the expenses of her sex change (granted, I can sympathize with the fact that it is costly). Apparently the first clue Bob had to his wife's sex change was while they were still married, and Julia began taking injections "for her headaches". Then her voice started to deepen, and she began to grow facial hair- still not seeing fit to tell her husband anything.

And that, kiddies, makes me livid. It offends me, more than anything, as a transman. If you are living with someone, sleeping with someone, being supported by their income, that person has a right a God given right to know who and what they're giving their love/money/energy to. When and how you choose to come out is entirely your decision, and should be acted upon with discretion. But make no mistake, if you are still married or in a serious relationship with someone, that person has a right to know BEFORE you take your very first shot of testosterone. What if they leave? Then that's a sacrifice you have to decide if it's worth.

Actions have consequences, and if you think you're going to be able to transition without that harsh reality, you are setting yourself up to greatly disappointed. This road is not an easy one. The journey is fraught with pain and disappointment, lost friends and emotional roller coasters. And yes, financial hardship. If you've grown up with gender issues, you probably already understand that there is a world of hurt involved. That hurt, however, does not entitle you to screw other people over in order to get what you want. Just like you have the right to pursue your own identity and transition into your preferred gender role, your significant other has the right to make an informed decision on whether or not to stay with you and support your financially.

In the meantime, deception and sponging off another human being isn't the answer. It's unmanly. Get a job. Find a roommate. Do what you have to do to minimize your expenses and up your savings, but do so honestly. Become a self made man. And most importantly, before you start trying to look like a man, try learning to be one.

And to the Julio's out there, if you're going to spend all that money to get a pair, at least try to act like you got a pair.