Progress.

Wow time flies. It's been nearly a year since I've posted anything, and that really surprises me for some reason. It just really hasn't felt like it's been that long. To update, I have top surgery scheduled less than a month away, and am both nervous and excited about it. It's been a long, difficult journey up to this point, so it feels really good to see a real, physical step about to be taken. I'll be traveling out of state, so sadly, hotel bills are really mounting the expenses. I have my last preop physical this week, and once that is cleared, I should be good to go, and will go ahead and book us a place to stay. A very awesome, very trust worthy friend is going to be traveling with me to take care of me while I'm all cut up and wussy (and knowing me, I'll be a total baby like when I'm sick), so that's a great relief. I just hope she can cook...

Anyway, post-op, I'll give a plug (provided the work is good, or a warning if bad) to the surgeon, though I'm not going to give info on where I'm going to be just yet. Prayers would be most welcome.

Speaking of prayers, I've really made some real progress back towards my own spiritual walk. I am, in fact, a Christian, for those of you who don't know, and have for a good deal of my past, been a passionate one at that. Though it had been difficult for a time, due to some bad experiences with my former church (which believe it or not didn't even have anything to do with the Trans issue) I have at last gotten my head on straight, and returned to my first Love. I was nervous to at first, afraid that all the progress I'd made in finding myself through therapy and discernment would conflict with my faith, and I'd have to start all over again trying to figure out who I am. I am both happy and relieved to say however, that such couldn't be farther from the truth. Since returning to a life of prayer and Bible study, I find myself filled with a greater peace than ever, not just in general, but even about my upcoming surgery as well. It's amazing how, if you'll just let go of clinging to your fears and what you think up need, God will catch you, and give you something even better. That's what I've found now, and I couldn't be happier for it. Now I can say without doubt, that when I go down for this surgery, I won't be going alone. I thank God that He loves me as He does, and even that He saw fit to make me as I am, and to do so in a time where the medical technology is as advanced as it is. I have been so blessed with the generosity of people like my therapist and doctor and friends. I can't imagine why I ever though He left me in the first place.

On the family front, things are about the same. No real development has been made there, as most of them simply don't want to talk about it. For their own hearts and healing, I can only pray. As for me, I feel that my own personal prayers have already been answered, thank God.