Crossroads.

So, alot going on in life now. After about 5 years of marriage, my mate and I have decided to separate. Gender issues aside, we're just not compatible, and fail to bring out the best in one another. It's been an amiable process so far, as I start moving things out into my parent's place. Since I'm downsizing to one room there, he's keeping most of the furniture and stuff, and has been very agreeable to letting me have the bits I've requested. There's been no ill mudslinging or bitter words thusfar, for which I am grateful. I have high hopes that the friendship will prevail through the divorce.

Meanwhile, as I'm setting up my new living space with my parents the room is looking very reminiscent to dorm-life, as I prepare to start back for my second bachelors degree. Going for a history major/art history minor, with the intention of being Indiana Jones when I grow up. I'm quite excited about this, because I absolutely love being in school. I love studying and even writing papers and stuff. A proud nerd, I am. And hope to be a professor someday, to continue in the world of academia. So that's something to look forward to. I'm only taking 2 classes this term, because I'm still working full time, and those were the only ones I could get that fit in with my work schedule. Right now, the plan is to work and save up for tuition, surgery and such. After a few semesters, I'll have to find a new job, something that'll work with my schedule and hopefully let me start attending school full time.

Moving back in with the 'rents has me a little nervous. We get along fine and all, but Mom's been having a hard time with the whole trans issue, and that has me a little nervous. On the one hand, I see it as an opportunity, and hope that the increase of time together will help set some of those fears at ease. On the other hand, I have fears of having to defend myself in constant morality debates. My mother has religious beliefs that make this difficult for her, while my faith doesn't really have that conflict. I know she means well, and I really don't think she'll brow beat me, but when trying to discern something like this, being put on the defensive doesn't really help.

At the last meeting with my therapist, we both agreed that it would be about a year or so before I was ready to pursue physical changes (ie hormones/surgery). While I sometimes feel a bit antsy to get things started, I agree that this is best, both from a financial standpoint, and from an emotional one. The year will be valuable for me to spend with my family, getting them and myself ready for the challenges that lie ahead, as well as having myself financially prepared for the added expense. So right now, it's mostly prep work. But don't discount the prep work. The journey, after all, is as important as they destination.